you turned your livingroom into a bong?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
