quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
