he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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