# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize