he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize