I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Drunk is not a location!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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