mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
