Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
