Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize