I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
