we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The beer is more important than you right now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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