No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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