theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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