I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
