I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
