She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
