On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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