My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
