I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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