You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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