It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
