it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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