wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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