one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
