Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize