So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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