I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
