How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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