Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
