I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
