she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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