just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
