Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
