Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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