READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
