they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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