She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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