bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
