dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
