Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
