I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You smell like a Billy Joel song
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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