I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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