Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
