Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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