Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
