last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
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