Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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