she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
