When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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