Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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