There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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