Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
