No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
