forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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