I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
