never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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