does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
