I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
