Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
