were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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